17th June, 1998

Big Smacks for Someone at Cadbury Confectionery.

  Hey, you know what? I like chocolate. No doubt this isn't exactly a startling revelation. However there's some things in this little part of the consumable object world which irritates me greatly. These are little, twenty gram bits of chocolate, with or without filling. These are formed into the shape of either a koala or a frog. What I'm trying to describe here people is the rather humble Caramello Koala or Freddo Frog.

  Don't get me wrong, in essence these are fine, I don't mind eating one every so often. But there is one thing majorly wrong with them, and has been as far as I can recall. They're always upside down in the wrapper! Never, never, has the illustration on the packaging matched the orientation of the contents.

  What effect does this shameless misrepresentation have? Well, imagine opening up such a wrapper, expecting to decapitate the frog or koala, and instead having to settle on amputating their legs. It is truly difficult to imagine the pain and mental anguish associated with this until you experience it for yourself.

  And what of the frog/koala within? I mean, the very fact that the picture on the wrapper suggests to me that there is a certain direction which should be "up" for this parcel of glass and a half goodness. Imagine being the contents of said parcel. Not only would you have been contained for weeks in a small coffin, with hardly any air. Having spent this time UPSIDE-DOWN, you would be re-introduced to the outside world, only to then have your legs bitten off. What I'm saying here, is if you're going to keep this poor creature cooped up for so long, then at the very least don't prolong it's suffering at the end. A quick removal of the head would most probably much more humane than what currently goes on.

  I hope you feel the same outrage and disgust as I. If you do, please write to your local member of parliament, newspaper, tell anyone whole listen. Most importantly, write to Cadbury's and let them know that you won't you be buying any of their products until they rectify the situation. Make your voice heard.

  And if you do continue to buy Freddo/Caramellos, please give some thought, and either open the wrapper from the tail end, or make the effort of starting with the head. Don't do it for me, do it for the animals.

  PS. Yes, I am aware I'm insane.

Copyright � 17th June 1998.
Opinions expressed here are purely those of Adam Smolarczyk.